The Day Heaven Gained Another Angel

Today marks 2 years.  Two years ago my Mother-In-Law left this earth and became our Angel Mama.  Two years of my kids terribly missing their Nana.  Two years of my Father-In-law being a widow and two years from the day my husband lost one of THE most important women in his life…his mama...who really was, one of his best friends.

To say that the last two years has been easy, would be a lie.  Because it hasn’t been.  It has taken nearly a year for my husband to get back into his groove.  To get back to living and loving life again.  Her loss didn't just take the wind out of his sail, it sunk his boat.  

Two days ago, one of our daughters was having the worst time missing her Nana, she asked if we could just stay home today; from school, from work, and be a family remembering our lovely Mother and Nana.  To say that request didn't sucker punch me right in the gut and bring on all the feelings I had been bottling up and trying so hard to keep it together, it would be another lie.

My Mother-In-Law, Charlene was an amazing person.   Not everyone likes or enjoys their in-laws, but I know I hit the jackpot with her.  I was very blessed to have been able to call her a friend, a confidante, and a mother.   She was there for me when my own mother physically couldn’t be (she lives in another state).  If I need relationship advise, with her son of course, she was the one who would coach me through it and help me understand him better.  Then call him and tell him he's wrong and to apologize - her famous words were "Stop being a butthead".  She didn't do it in an annoying Marie Barone (Everyone Loves Raymond) kind of way – but in a way that a friend would.

She had the biggest, kindest, generous heart of them all.  She loved seeing her grandchildren and making them laugh.  Oh what I wouldn't give to hear her contagious laugh right now...

She once said to me: “Katie, it’s all about making memories with the kids.  They aren’t going to remember the money you have or don’t have or the things you did or didn’t buy them.  They are going to remember the memories the two of you have created for them.”   

Christmas Eve - she spent the night with us this year - one of our favorite Christmases ever!

I can honestly say, that is what Tim and I live by; that saying and what she has taught us.  We live for the family we have built.  We love to make memories with them.

Grief is a strange thing.  Just when you think you have gotten through it, you get hit with a ton of bricks.  

Recently, while Tim and I were on one of our Harley Rides with friends this summer, we passed the neatest garden/bird shop.  It had so many neat yard ornaments and bird houses (she loved feeding the squirrels and birds in her yard).   I kept my thoughts to myself and start to cry quietly to myself on the back of that motorcycle.    

Then I heard my husband through our helmet headset say, "Wow, my mom would have loved that store."  Then came the water works.  I couldn't stop crying- right then and there at 65 mph on the back of a Harley, I was hit so hard by the grief of missing her.

We miss her terribly so.  Not a day goes by that she's not thought of, or her laughter isn't missed, or I just long to pick up the phone and tell her what's been happening with the kids, or about my day, or a vacation we took.  Maybe one day, I'll have the strength to change her contact info in my phone from Nana over to my Father-In-Law and write Papa.

October 21st, 2000

Until then - So much love is being sent to Heaven from our little family.